Grace full mama

Have you ever felt so incredibly aware of the warfare that is coming against you? Aware of something that causes just an… edge. A feeling of anxiety instead of peace. A harsh reaction instead of one that is bathed in the glory of God. It’s so easy to brush it off as, “hey, we are human, right?” And just let it go. To think we are plagued with anxiety and that is just how we are made, it isn’t warfare at all.

The enemy is a thief my friends. That anxiety sometimes feels like it’s just a backpack that we can handle and still complete the race, but in reality it was sent to direct our focus to the backpack instead of Jesus. It shifts our focus and robs us of closeness, of revelation, of the ability to just abide in Him. It robs those around us of feeling his presence poured through us as a vessel, directly onto their own parched souls. That backpack, my friends, is actually a big deal. It is going to fit you poorly, it is going to cause blisters; and you are going to focus on those blisters instead of the view, if you don’t take it off.

We are living in a world that is very chock full of what feels like “big sins.” Sins that go against the nature of what God intended us to be. Murder of our most innocent and vulnerable. An absolute hatred for what is good, and right; of God himself. We live in an Alice in Wonderland age where sin has become the new righteousness and our heads are left spinning. It’s all upside down. At some point, most of us have fallen into some kind of sin. It is all around us. The statistics of men and women looking at porn is staggering. Our kids are being taught to question things about themselves as basic and intrinsic as their genders. Blatant sex parades before our eyes on the shows that “everyone” watches on TV. We. Are. Bombarded.

All of this culture of “sin as righteousness” has a very specific end goal. We are supposed to be too distracted to hear the quiet voice of God and be wooed into true peace. He won’t speak like an earthquake. That isn’t his style. “And he said, ‘go forth, and stand upon the mount of the Lord.’ And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: and after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 11-12

The enemy around us is so loud that it is hard to hear that still small voice. Not only that, but any sin we have fallen into gives the enemy grounds to whisper disqualification in our ears and render us ineffective, paralysed by guilt. I know the enemy is on a warpath against me when I can’t get the litany of my past and present sins out of my head “You expect your kids to love Jesus? You got angry at them. You used words you shouldn’t have. They are going to fail and it will be your fault.” Or “Remember when you were a horrible mother? Remember x, y, z? You don’t deserve the life you have. You deserve nothing. It will all be ripped away.” Thoughts like that cause a visceral response. An adrenaline response. They cause the heartrate to rise and the anxiety to settle in. Good luck hearing that still small voice with the loud and accusing voice talking over top of him.

Here’s the good news. I am precious because I am redeemed. Not in spite of it. I know the price my Jesus paid for me. He didn’t hum and haw like I do at a horse auction, considering, “Is she really worth it?” He went all in. He paid everything he had. His blood. His life. For my freedom. Not to make me a slave, not to rub my nose in it. My debt is paid. He said I was worth it. Woe to the being that contradicts his word. The enemy knows that a sinner that realizes they are set free and given all authority is dangerous, lethal, to his agenda. Truly, truly I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these he will do, because I am going to the Father.” Matthew 7:21 The incredible truth about being a redeemed sinner, is that I know that I am not amazing because I have lived a perfect life. Anything about me that is amazing, any gift I have to give or that I have been given is because of Jesus. It’s all Jesus. I don’t want to stand there and say “Hey, let me introduce you to myself, the amazing spotless one who never sinned.” I want to tell others “Let my introduce you to Jesus, the one who paid my debt, the one who is incredible in every way. You have GOT to know him; and once you know him, you have got to know him better.”

Your sin is the debt that Jesus paid in order to have you close to him. It is exactly what makes you worthy in his eyes! Holiness tends to bring with it more holiness, just as sin brings with it more sin. It is all like yeast that multiplies throughout the whole batch of bread. When you know that you are holy and forgiven, you crave holiness. That is exactly why the enemy wants to disqualify the cross and cause you to focus on your sin instead of your redemption.

We live in a day when it is hard to remember what is truly right. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. 2 Peter 1:3 Do not be taken in, my friends. Remember who you are, and remember who he is.