Grace full mama

Nobody wants to be in the middle of a battle. At least, nobody who has experienced war wants to experience it again. And yet, here we are, in this love story set in the middle of a battlefield. Sometimes we can lose sight of the fight for a little while, and that feels pretty amazing, but it will always come back around. This life is beautiful, tiger lilies and mountains, but it is also treacherous poisonous snakes and earthquakes.

We are in the middle of a battle right now. Actually, battle doesn’t feel like a word with enough ‘oomph.’ We are in the midst of all out war, casualties falling on all sides and cannon fire so loud our ears are ringing. I lifted up my hands to God… ” I am not strong enough for this! Why is there a fight everywhere I go? What is it about me? Am I inherently wrong? I just want it to be peaceful and joyful and I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Spoiler alert. He did not remove me from the battle.

I haven’t fought particularly well. I have been the recruit who is having a tantrum about being there, clinging to the plane so long when I am supposed to jump out of it, that my chute might not deploy in time. I have had moments where I realised I was fighting for the wrong side, sending bullets ricocheting towards my own side. I have been the most reluctant lieutenant. I don’t want to be in a war, and yet I appear to be right dead centre in the middle of it.

I am no battle professional; but here is what I am learning as I whine to Jesus about my predicament.

Battle is not optional. Sure, we can be deserters and run from the battle, but somehow, some way, it will follow us to our spot of refuge.

Jesus was in a battle his whole life. He didn’t give into the people pleasing anthem of just wanting everyone to like him. He didn’t have a meltdown when the people didn’t like him, and until the day he was ready to die for us by his own choice, he had incredible power. When he visited his own hometown, he spoke the truth in a loud enough voice that the leaders of the temple were enraged with him. They tried to march him out of that synagogue and throw him right off of a cliff to his death. I wish there was more details on this story. There is just one sentence that speaks volumes. “But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.” Wait, what? There was a whole crowd of people who wanted to kill Jesus and he just walked through the middle of them and went about his business.

As I read through Jesus life, I see that he expected battle. He loved. Oh gosh, how he loved. He healed, and he forgave, and he loved. And he rebuked, and he offended, and he stuck by the truth. His voice didn’t shake. When his enemy thought he had the final word, watching Jesus rasp out his last breath nailed to a cross, he saved every single one of us with his death. Most of his followers lived in the middle of very difficult battles too, many of them dying for their faith. And yet they lived like they were in a love story while they did battle.

We do not battle against flesh and blood. That might be the most important thing to remember when it feels like everything has turned against you. We aren’t really fighting the person who is hurling insults and accusations. We are fighting with the agreements they have made, with the dark places the enemy has been able to build up in them. In truth, we are fighting for that person. We are fighting the enemy on their behalf. We are to pray for them. We are to bring them to the feet of Jesus. Jesus loves everybody. We are to pray for everybody. Our fight is not in this kingdom. Our pain is, but our battle isn’t.

Jesus was not a people pleaser. He upset the apple cart (or the temple tables) all through his life, beginning when he was little and his parents were upset that they had lost him, because he stayed at the synagogue to do his father in heaven’s work. He didn’t die of anxiety because someone was upset with him. I don’t personally think that this means he didn’t experience the human emotion of anxiety. He was, after all, fully human and fully God. But he went over and over to secluded places for hours or even days on end to talk to God. He was so connected to his commander, he couldn’t hear any other voice.

We are called to love our human enemies. We are called to pray for those who despitefully use us. This is a command that came right from the lips of the man who died for us. He knew exactly what he was asking. He told us to stop judging, to forgive, and to love. This doesn’t mean giving up the fight. On the contrary, it means that we are called to make sure we don’t try and abdicate our position. Keep speaking the truth over those who have pulled a blanket of lies over themselves. Pray for them. Forgive them. Open yourself up to that hurt because they are worth fighting for.

“Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.” Luke 6:22&23

My friends, in this world we will have trouble. But take heart, our Jesus has overcome the world. (John 16:33) I’m trying to get really close to my Jesus, so that I can take orders from my commander and remember which enemy to shoot at. I am so loved. I am at war. And so are you.