Grace full mama

Sometimes I feel like there is contradicting advice everywhere I turn. Do you ever feel like that?

“Be more gentle in your parenting!”, “If you let them get away with that they’ll walk all over you.”,

“This isn’t your season for self care. This is your season to serve your husband and kids.”, “Self care is of utmost importance. Fill your own cup.”

“Cuddle the baby when they need it so they know they are loved.”, “The only way they are ever going to sleep is if you let them cry it out.”

If I were to listen to all the good advice I have heard I would be running a million different directions at once. For someone who struggles with being a people pleaser, it is incredibly difficult! I am always managing to displease someone. There isn’t enough patience in the world or time in the day to get it all right according to everyone.

And I’m not even talking about bad advice! I’m just talking about the good stuff.

It is a reminder, once again to step back and think about who it is that we need to please. It is exactly one person. Jesus. Talk to him. Hear what he says. He cares about all the little situations just like the big ones.

“God, what can I do to help my teenager get through this time?”

“How can I get my health back on track?”

He has never failed to answer these direct, life planning questions with me; even though I have failed to ask him the questions millions of times and ended up frustrated trying to do it on my own.

I love the way that he tells me to parent. There has been the odd time he has been firm with me that I need to stick to a boundary or consequence with the kids. But I bet 90% of the time he helps me to see what is going on in their hearts so we can get to the root of the problem. He helps me to move out of my own fight or flight reaction to whatever it is that they are doing, and see them the way he sees them.

This. Changes. Everything.

He is like that with me, too. I will come to him wrapped up in my failures and inadequacies. He will respond with love, redemption, comfort, and practical help so that I can move to a better place.

When I listen to what the influencers in the world have to say, I try to be all the things to all the people. It is a constant comparison battle inside my mind where I am always coming up short. The enemy of our souls loves to tell us that we are worthless, we are not who we should be, we are not doing good enough, we should be ashamed.

Last night, laying in bed I asked Jesus how I can do better. Do you know what he told me?

“Glory to glory, my daughter. I am so pleased with you. You’re in a level of glory and it’s beautiful. And as we get closer, you’ll move to another glory. You are being transformed, but not from something ugly into something beautiful. From something beautiful into something more beautiful.”

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

My children are being transformed from something beautiful into something more beautiful. So is my husband.

I have value exactly where I am at. I don’t have to strive for worth and value. I don’t have to feel shame and believe that I am not good enough. I am beautiful. And as my face wrinkles and my edges soften I will become more beautiful as I transform to be even more like Jesus.