Grace full mama

Do you ever feel like a total failure as a mom? Who am I kidding. Of course you do. It’s a struggle that we all have, and our enemy loves to whisper about it in our ears. When I have voiced this awful feeling, with tears brimming over, so many people have told me the same thing. “That’s how you know that you are a good mom.”

Now. I know these people all mean very well, but the platitude doesn’t hit the spot for me. It’s like weak tea when I’m craving strong coffee. The truth is that on some level, I am failing. I’m a sinner and I fall short of the perfection of Jesus, no matter how hard I try.

It feels like an impossible situation, doesn’t it? No matter how hard I try there is a moment of impatience or a distracted answer to a needy child that niggles at me. If I happen to feel like I had a particularly great day, I just have to go back in time, a day, a month, five years, and there will be some memory of my utter failure that will haunt me till my stomach hurts. These kids need me. Every moment matters. And no matter how hard I try, I fail them.

What a perfect illustration of our whole walk as a believer. What a blessing that these kids highlight our imperfection and our need for the cross. What a blessing that Jesus doesn’t wait for us to get it right before he works in us. He works right in the midst of our struggles.

“For while we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” Romans 5:6. Oh, that’s me Lord. I am still without strength. This motherhood thing is HARD, and the stakes are high. The sleepless nights, the teenage attitude, the feeling over touched, over stimulated, and over needed. Sometimes my head swims with the “hardness” of it.

I really don’t think there is another profession that brings us so close to Jesus. We are aware of our need for grace. We are aware of our shortcomings. We love these little people with everything we have, which really highlights for us all the ways we feel like we fall short. But this isn’t just their growing up process. It is ours too. This is a powerful program intended to shape us from glory to glory into the image of Christ.

” And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations. Knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:4.

I need that hope. I need it to the bottom of my coffee addicted soul. Motherhood is full of hard stuff. It’s full of tear worthy tribulations that are incredibly important to the kingdom. Persevere, mamas. Persevere in seeking him after you lose your temper. Persevere in teaching that repentance to your kids. Persevere in bathing in his spirit so that it overflows out of you in your words, your eyes, your hugs, your reactions. Persevere in pursuing Jesus in the midst of your motherhood… because if you do that, you are not failing in what really matters. If you do that, you are directing your kids towards the king of kings. You are showing them your relationship with God, and you are enabling them to have one of their own. That is what’s going to save them, strengthen them, be their peace and their rescue as they enter adulthood. Let your kids see your struggle so that when they hit their own “hard,” they know how to handle it.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yolk is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I truly believe that “failure” feeling we moms are so familiar with is a homing beacon towards Jesus. We need to train ourselves to let it direct us there. Listen to his gentle words about you, and you will have gentle words for those kids that fill up your whole heart.